Ageema

Hi again,

Every language, and every country has a way of shaping a story. Frame of reference is very important for understanding the subtleties of individual stories from places that you are not from. I feel like, in writing this blog, that I am always trying to keep up with frame of reference, and well new events keep happening, I keep plodding through what I find to be very important aspects of frame of reference. Of course there are certain very important events that I can’t leave out as they pass by, but I think you and I will have to come to terms with the fact that things really do happen too quickly to be documented, and blogging is about prioritizing. Everyone has a different set of priorities. I am trying to be thorough, but it is impossible!

I promised in a past blog that I would explain ageema’s. Ageema’s are very important in Korean culture, and don’t exist in Canadian culture. If, as you are reading this you think that they do, then you are misinterpreting what I am saying, so be careful. When I first came upon the concept, I tried to draw parallel’s, but that only led to mis-understanding. Now you must really be wondering: What is an Ageema?

My understanding of an ageema is a woman who has had children, and has decided that she is tired of being cute, and would like to enjoy life, or alternatively be a grumpy bitch. There is no exact age for when someone turns into an ageema. It seems like women decide this for themselves. However, make no mistake. It is VERY clear who is an ageema, and who isn’t. The identity of an ageema is very important in Korean culture, and it seems like once women decide they are ageema’s they make sure that everyone knows.

Now, how does one do this, when there is no defined hormonal, or biological change? To understand this, we must consider the generic identity of a Korean woman before she becomes an ageema. I say “generic identity” because I am starting to feel like I am being a little bit disrespectful to the culture, by generalizing them in this way, so you must understand that these are generalizations for the sake of explanation, and not everyone is like this, but these cultural norms strongly influence everyone. Also it must be understood that cultural norms strongly influence everyone in Korea, much much more than in Canada. So, almost all pre-ageema women strive to be cute. Everywhere, there are cute things to be worn, eaten, attached to technological devices, and used for decoration. Being thin is very important, as is wearing heals. Wearing short little dresses, skirts, or shorts is also a plus, but low cut tops is slutty, and very inappropriate. It’s strange all cultures have different random standards for what is considered slutty.

Korean women aren’t like Canadian women, in that, although they obviously have very different personalities there isn’t really a choice about whether or not you are going to be girly. I haven’t met or seen a Korean woman (pre-ageema) who has decided to be butch, or tom-boy ect., and I have seen very few Korean women on the street, NOT wearing heels. Pre-ageema Korean women are very subtle people. You don’t notice very many differences in them. It is like their personalities are all hiding. It seems like they are all the type of person who it would take you a really long time to get to know, so long, that you wonder if it is worth trying.

O.k., so now I can explain ageema’s. Ageema’s are really easy to spot, even for a stupid foreigner like me. They wear clothes that don’t match, flat shoes (often runners or boots), and they are women with obvious personalities (either joyous, or ugly and mean, or sometimes something in between), but Ageema personalities are always exaggerated, so I’m not sure what somewhere in between really means in this context. The obviousness of ageema personalities is exactly the opposite of pre-ageema women’s personalities. Also the careful attention to detail (and cuteness) in the dress of pre-ageema women provides a striking opposite for the seemingly calculated lack of attention to anything in the wardrobe of an ageema.

I’m going to end with 2 illustrative ageema anecdotes. The first is my brother Luke’s explanation of an ageema. We were in the presence of one, and I was just beginning to understand what they are. He said approximately: “I love ageema’s. You’ll often come across them picnicking, and drinking soju in a park together. They are always joking and laughing.”

The second is another foreigner’s interpretation. This is just some guy from a big group of foreigners that I followed into a grill house. (There are so few foreigners in my neighborhood, that it is both o.k. and advisable to try to make friends with everyone….it doesn’t always work). He said approximately “Korean woman age so oddly. They look super young and hot until they are 35 or 40, and then all of a sudden they look old and ugly”. I find this one a bit ignorant, but useful for illustration.

So there you have it. Now you will have a hope at understanding an ageema when she comes up in a story from Korea.

Lots of love,

Cassie.